Subject: Rot Soaps From Here to There Parts 1-6 From: pd061394@quartz.nbnet.nb.ca (A) >From Here to There Part 1 written by: A editor in chief : Emily S. It is just another day at the Carriage house. One is not unlike the other; they seem to run into each other until they pass into weeks and months. Blake gets everything ready for Ross' scheduled bi-weekly visit. The house is spotless, and the boys are freshly bathed and gurgling happily in their playpens. When she looks at them, she cannot help but think longingly about their father. Two months has not made it any easier. Her throat tightens and the tears spring to her eyes as she moves their wedding picture into the desk drawer. She checks her watch. Willing Holly to be late just this once, but her hopes fade as she hears Holly's car pull into the driveway. Holly: Hi honey, are the boys all set? Blake: Yes. Couldn't you have been late just this once? Holly:(chiding her daughter) Blake, you know this was part of the deal. He wouldn't contest you having custody of the boys if you were no where around during his scheduled visits. I know it is hard, but it is better than the alternative. Blake:(glumly) Alternative? What alternative? We were supposed to raise these children together. (bitterly) The perfect family gone to hell. Holly:(feeling her pain) Honey, it will get better. Blake: It will never get better. When he left, he took my soul with him. (Leans over into the crib and kisses her darling boys) Momma's going bye bye!!! (They stretch their arms out to her, but she walks away, picking up her overnight bag as she heads out the door) If anyone needs to get in touch with me I'll be at the Springfield Inn. >From Here to There Part 2 written by: A editor in chief: Emily S Holly holds the door of the Carriage house open for Ross. Holly:(cheerily) Right on time as usual. Ross: Of course. I'm not about to let my boys down. Holly silently thinks about how the one positive outcome of the past two months is Ross' renewed relationship with Kevin. Holly: Well, the boys are bathed and changed and anxiously awaiting playtime with their daddy. Ross hangs his coat in the closet and sets his overnight bag aside. Ross: Great. Thank you, Holly. I can take it from here. Holly puts on her jacket, but hesitates before leaving. Ross:(looking at her expectantly) Is there something else, Holly? She hands him a note. Holly: Blake asked me to give this to you. Ross:(suspiciously) What is it? Holly:(wishing desperately that he would lighten up) It's the number where she can be reached. He returns the piece of paper to her. Ross: I know your phone number, Holly. (irritated) What is this really? Holly: She isn't staying with me. Ross:(flatly) Oh? Holly: She's at the Springfield Inn. Ross:(looking towards the boys, maintaining a posture of complete disinterest) That's nice. But if Blake needs to be contacted, it'll be through you. Holly is saddened that he refuses to even slacken the hold on his hurt and anger. Knowing when to concede, she puts the note on the desk. Holly: In case there is an emergency, Ross. She walks out the door as he goes to gather up his boys. ************************************************************************* Ross pours himself a scotch, unaware of the small fact that the decanter is where it has always been. He glances at the boys sleeping peacefully, regretful that they have dozed off so early. In an attempt to occupy his mind and keep the demons at bay, he pulls out a case file, settles on the couch and proceeds to make notes. "Damn pen." He flings it across the room, unaware of his overreaction to a suddenly dry pen. He sighs and gets up, walking over to the desk where he opens the top drawer to scrounge for a replacement pen. His eyes fall on a large manila envelope addressed to him. He mutters. "Nice, Blake. Something else you conveniently forgot to tell me about" He rummages for a letter opener, and makes quick work of the seal. He pulls a neat stack of papers from the envelope. His eyes scan the first page, not making it past the salutation. "My Dearest Ross," With a heavy dose of self-recrimination, he realizes it is Blake's handwriting. Unable to control his eyes, he starts to peruse the page before him. Jason's fussy cry demands his attention. Relieved for the distraction, he quickly puts the letter back in the drawer and attends to his son. ************************************************************ Room 201 at the Springfield Inn is veiled in darkness. The only indication that it is occupied is the radio playing softly in the background. A closer look reveals a woman's silhouette as she sits on the bed hugging her knees tightly to her chest. If you look closely when the light hits her face, you would draw back wondering how one face could express such a deeply rooted pain. The line of tears trailing down her cheeks only serve to make her seem more tragic. As one songs runs into another, the words strike a chord in her consciousness. Well, if the words won't do it, Then words are just a waste of time. We could get right to it If I could only read your mind. You're just a mystery to me Deeper than the deep, blue sea. There must be something that will melt your heart. Baby, tell me just where to start. What would it take to get you closer? What would it take just to stir your soul? What can I do to make you love me? Just the thought of you keeps me lying awake. Tell me what would it take........ words by: Bryan Adams *********************************************** Meanwhile back at the Carriage house, Ross is chatting with Jason. Ross: Well, little man, what now? Your brother is off to dream land. What's that you say? You just want to hang out and keep your old man company! Jason starts to fuss. Ross looks around for his soother, and it takes a couple of minutes for him to spot it sitting on the desk. Carrying his son, he walks over, pops the soother in Jason's mouth and hesitates. He is unable to forget the letter hidden safely within the desk. Ross: You know, Jason, your dad is having a bit of a dilemma. (His eyes bore into the desk drawer, as if expecting it to give up the secrets in the letter.) It seems that your mother went to some effort in writing a letter to me. Yet, she never sent it. (Holds Jason out so he can look into his eyes) Why do suppose that is? (He nods his head) I know what you are saying. Unless I know the contents of the letter, I can never even guess as to her motivation. It is truly a lack of evidence. (The baby gurgles sticking his fingers on Ross's glasses) Good point! But wouldn't I be breaching her privacy? You are right, it was addressed to me, so technically....(nods his head as if listening intently to Jason) I can't argue with your logic. Technically I'd just be asking for trouble. It is probably just more of the same tired, inadequate excuses. Unless... Do you suppose that this can never be fixed? And *that's* why she didn't send it? (Unsure about how he feels about that possibility. Jason entwines his chubby, little fingers in his dad's hair.) You are absolutely right, son. I am here to spend some quality time with you; not to try to get inside your mother's head. (resigningly) As if that would ever happen.(He heads back to the couch, lies down and holds Jason to his chest. They fall asleep.) >From Here to There Part #3 written by: A editor in chief : Emily S Open to Room 201 at the Springfield Inn. Blake rolls over, cold and tired. Like so many other nights, the escape of sleep evades her. A glance at the clock, the iridescent green numbers flash ten o' five. "Oh Blake, you are so pathetic." Rising from the bed, she heads for the washroom. After turning on the light, she blinks until her eyes adjust. One look in the mirror and she groans. "Girl, keep this up, and people are going to start asking if you are the boys' grandmother! For god's sake, pull yourself together." Quickly she applies some makeup. The tired, haunted look remains, but anything is an improvement. She runs a brush through her hair, grabs her purse and walks out the door. ******************** Open awhile later to the Country Club. Blake is sitting contentedly at the bar. Relieved to have escaped the quiet, lonely room, she is making quick work of her second martini. She scans the room. When Roger and Amanda come into her line of vision, she turns her back and takes a gulp from her drink, momentarily soothed. "Bartender, another please." "Hey, don't you think you should slow down?" Blake looks up into Phillip's disapproving face. She rolls her eyes. Blake: No... and I don't need a babysitter, so keep on moving buddy! Phillip:(feeling irritated, glad to finally have an outlet) Hi Blake, as always, it's less than a pleasure to see you. He takes the stool beside her, and is silent until he completes his first drink. As she leisurely starts in on her second, she finds it easy to ignore him. Phillip: What the hell brings you out tonight? Don't you have a couple of boys... She cuts him off. "Ross has the boys tonight. And I needed to be somewhere... somewhere with people. (gives him a look) But I am quickly reconsidering. Phillip:(mellowing a tad) How is my uncle? Blake:(flip) Damned if I know. (The bitterness creeps in.) I haven't seen or spoken to him in a couple of months. Phillip: Really? I figured you'd have at least seduced him back to your bed by now! (grins and takes another drink) Blake: You can be such a bastard! Obviously a family trait. She picks up her drink and walks away, finding a semi-secluded table. He watches her leave, and then turns to the bartender for a re-fill and one of whatever it was she was drinking as he points after Blake. He picks up the drinks and approaches her table. Phillip:(takes the seat facing her) I'm sorry, that was incredibly insensitive! (hands her a drink) Truce? She considers telling him precisely where to stick his damn drink, but decides even his company is better than being alone. Blake: Fine! Phillip: I am curious though, why haven't you talked to Ross. Blake:(distracted by the olive in her drink) Terms of our separation. Ross insisted that we have absolutely no contact. We communicate through Holly. Phillip: Ouch. (Notices how tired and defeated she looks) How are you getting by? Blake: Getting by? Please! I eat, try to sleep and care for the boys.... that is my life. **************************** An hour later finds Phillip and Blake still together, a forced civility holds. Blake:(looks at the empty glasses in front of Phillip) Why don't you slow down? Phillip:(rolls his eyes) Oh that's rich. Why don't you wait for me to catch up? (motions for the waiter) Blake: You're right. Drink yourself blind. But, what the hell is your problem? Phillip: (figures he has nothing to lose, pulls an official document from his jacket pocket) I just got notification that my divorce from... Beth, well it's final. (Looks pathetically glum) For a minute, they just stare at each other, sharing a common pain and realizing it is like looking in a mirror. Blake: Oh joy, another occasion for me to look forward to. Final divorce papers! Phillip raises his glass and waits for her to raise her. "Here is to misery! It does indeed enjoy company!" Their mournful silence is pierced by a condemning voice. "Well, doesn't this look cozy?" >From Here to There Part #4 written by: A editor in chief: Emily S Open to the Country Club where Amanda is looking like the cat who swallowed the canary, thinking she has caught Phillip and Blake in some sort of secret tryst. Amanda: Well, well, well. Isn't this cozy? *********************************** Back at the Carriage house, something rouses Ross from his slumber. He lifts the sleeping baby off his chest, carries him up to the nursery and tucks him into his crib. He checks on Kevin, adjusts his blankets and returns to the living room. He switches on a lamp and retrieves his case file, knowing he won't be able to sleep. He stares blankly at the file, unable to muster anything resembling interest. He sighs and puts it away. His mind inevitably returns to the envelope in the desk. "For heaven's sake, Marler, stop torturing yourself. Just read the damn thing." Still unsure, he collects his abandoned drink and trods off to the kitchen in search of ice. Drink replenished, he settles in on the sofa. His eyes wander around the room, revealing the presence of his sons everywhere. The thought that the days of an easy tidy life have slipped by rest on his mind. Unable to put it off any longer, he tosses back the drink, welcoming the instant burn. He walks over to the desk, opens the drawer and extracts the envelope. He looks at it for several minutes before returning to the sofa. He starts in. The letter reads more like a diary. It was as though the writer needed to document everything, very carefully, to insure their remembrance. Except for the salutation, she never addresses anything else directly to him. She speaks about the progression of their relationship and the effects different events had on her. It reads like a detailed self exploration. She reveals how she despised her own insecurity, yet seemed destined to perpetuate it. How month after month when she failed to get pregnant, it only served to reinforce her feelings of inadequacies. The shock and the hurt she felt when she discovered that her husband, who had always said that truth and trust were paramount in a relationship, had not fully disclosed his relationship with Amanda, and had purposely hid the truth about Amanda dropping her fur in a blatant attempt to seduce him. Unable to put the letter down, he reads on. Even though the story is being told with Blake's words, it's as if he is reading the account of events from a third party's perspective. He feels a tinge of guilt when reading about her feelings of desperation at her inability to get pregnant, and how he, without any regard for her, decided that they should stop trying. (Blake's voice) "He says it's for own good, but I am only left with the feeling that... he doesn't want me anymore." Not realizing that he is speaking aloud, he pleads. "I was only trying to make it easier for you... it wasn't a punishment." Seeing documented, in black and white, the many ways Amanda openly and continuously assaulted their marriage, and how he had chosen to foolishly ignore it, a hint of guilt creeps in, undetected. He is surprised, and maybe slightly disappointed, to find that there are no impassioned pleas to him for forgiveness. He would never admit why, but of course it robbed him of the opportunity to stoically turn her down. ************************************* As Ross continues to read her account, cut to Blake looking at Amanda with contempt, rolling her eyes and ordering a re-fill. Amanda: Gee, Blake, the ink can't quite be dry on your divorce yet. A little early to be painting the town red with my bro... nephew. Blake:(feeling buoyed by the alcohol) Go to hell, Amanda. Wait, I take that back... even hell has standards. Phillip can't surpress his laughter. After weeks of constantly battling with Amanda, it's nice to see someone else stick it to her. Phillip raises his glass in a mock toast. Amanda: Pretty flip for a single mother with no future. Phillip can tell Blake is about to explode, he grabs her hand. "Don't she isn't worth it." He then says to Amanda "Back off!" Amanda:(innocently) What? I only dropped by to tell Blake to keep her chin up. With her special set of skills, I'm sure she'll trap a husband before you can say... "identical twins with different dads". (sneers triumphantly) Blake:(yells) BITCH! (as her drink flies into Amanda's gapping face) As Amanda howls, trying to divert further trouble, Phillip grabs Blake's hand. "That's our cue." They head out the door. Blake:(feeling very satisfied) What, no lecture on my bad behavior? Phillip: No, she had it coming. If you hadn't, I would have. Phillip hails a nearby limo. They get inside, and Blake kicks back, smiling to herself, awash in fond memories. Phillip: Something I should know? Blake: It's just been awhile since I've been in one of these. Did you know I kidnapped Ross in a limo once? Phillip: No, and I have the feeling that what comes next fits nicely into the "too much information" category. Blake is caught up in the memory and ignores him. Blake: He tried to break our relationship off that night, but he wanted me too much. He was a man consumed; he couldn't stay away. God, Phillip, what I wouldn't give to have that night back. In the midst of his haze, he is struck by the sincere longing in her voice. Phillip:(trying to be philosophical, thinking of Beth) Too bad we can't go back. >From Here to There Part #5 written by: A editor in chief: Emily S Open to the Carriage House where Ross is engrossed in reading Blake's account of the past year of her life. He is grateful that she elected to talk only of her emotional and mental state of that fateful night as opposed to a detailed description of her betrayal. His expression remains stoic as he reads, not a visible crack in his chilling veneer. He does pause and wonder how she held it all together with Rick's constant harassment and Annie's manipulations. Until the words become blurred, he hadn't realized her description of her giving birth to his sons had touched him so deeply. He quickly wipes the water from the page. But, it is too late, her words are smeared. *********** Meanwhile, enjoying a glass of champagne and the limo, Blake's curiosity prevails. Blake: Where exactly are we going? Phillip: To the Towers. Blake: Oh really? I'm not exactly dressed for the occasion. Phillip: Who gives a damn? We could stroll in there naked... but you are with the *President* of Spaulding Enterprises. (smirks at the absurd yet truthful statement) Who would dare stop us? Blakes's eyes widen. Phillip clinks her glass, and they drift off to their own thoughts. ************* Ross reads her closing remarks a couple of times. "I know in my head that Ross will never find a way to forgive me. Who could? I destroyed all that was good between us. There is just no excuse to offer. Is there a moment of any day that passes that I don't wish I could go back and..... my life has turned into a tidy little list of 'If only'. "If only I had trusted in his love for me. If only I had fought for him, instead of retreating into my own hell. If only I had told him the truth, before building the insurmountable wall of lies and deception. If only... "Why won't my heart listen to my head? Why, Blake? Because your heart is no longer whole. He took the best part of it the day he walked out that door. "For a girl that claimed all she ever wanted was to be loved and to be part of a happy family, I think I have proven beyond a shadow of a doubt what I have always suspected. I *don't* deserve it. The proof? Look at what I did to the man I love more than my life. "I thought I would die when he left me. I wanted to actually, but then I looked into the eyes of our children. They were our shared dream for the future, and I have destroyed their chance for a happy, normal home. I won't make any ridiculous vow to make it up to them; that's not possible. I will give them everything I have left, and hope desperately that it will be enough." The letter is unsigned, as though she didn't feel it was complete. He exhales slowly, feeling emotionally drained after reliving her rollercoaster ride. "Well Blake, I now know why this remained unsent. In Blake-like fashion you expose your very soul in excruciating detail. I suppose you knew if I received this, without a second thought I would have carelessly and contemptuously thrown it away. What does that say about me?" He holds up her pages. "What does this say about me?" Trying to make some sort of sense out of his conflicted emotions, he lies back on the sofa and falls into a deep sleep. ************* >From Here to There Part #6 written by: A editor in chief: Emily S Enjoying the ambiance of her first full meal in weeks, Blake feels rather chatty. Blake: This was a great idea. I can't remember the last time I ate. Phillip smiles, oddly enjoying her company. Phillip: How are things between you and my good buddy, Rick, these days? Blake rolls her eyes and stops eating. "He is a basket case.(puts her hands up) Please don't bother to defend him. I know he is your friend, but you're with me tonight, and I could use a sympathetic ear." Phillip nods, realizing that it has to be a difficult position for her. He decides to try and be neutral. Phillip: I'm listening. "First off, he never calls. He just shows up at my door. More often than not, he is upset. Sometimes, I think he believes that Kevin is the magic pill that will make his world right again." Phillip: Surely you aren't suggesting he doesn't have the right to see his son. She takes a bite out of her roll and chews for a minute before responding. Blake: I'm not sure what I'm suggesting... (sigh) I feel like the pre-packaged family. Like we are there for his convenience. Phillip: Come on, Blake. I know Rick; you're exaggerating. Blake: (trying to determine if he is egging her on or trying to get a real sense of things, she takes a chance) It's like this: when the truth came out, I was so consumed by guilt that I didn't know which way was up. I made allowances for Rick and his... his behavior! Phillip: (chiding her) Come on, Blake. Blake:(irritated that she feels the need to defend herself) You know, I don't expect you to listen. But I live it, and truthfully I'm not sure how much longer I can deal with it. It is upsetting to Kevin, and to me. Before she can continue, they are interrupted. They look up where overhead Rick looms. Rick:(with his usual air of arrogance) Gee Blake, isn't it a little late for you to be out on the town? Blake looks at her watch and retorts. "Nope." Phillip: Rick. He pulls up a chair and joins them uninvited. Rick: Hey, pal. (to Blake) Who, may I ask, is looking after our son while you are out carousing? Blake:(laughs not taking him seriously) Carousing? Phillip, is that what we are doing? Carousing? Phillip: Absolutely. Ain't it grand? (He clinks her glass, much to the ire of Rick.) Rick: I'm serious Blake. You have responsibilities. What about Kevin? Blake:(glares at him) He is well taken care of. Rick: You know, I don't like the idea of him being left with... with sitters all the time, so you can pursue a social life. Phillip:(not caring for Rick's tone, tries to diffuse it) Hey pal, relax. Order a drink. Rick:(peevish) This doesn't concern you, *pal*. This concerns my son. (to Blake) Well? What do you have to say for yourself!? Blake:(laughs) Three insy winsy little words for you Dr. Bauer. Go... to... hell! (Thinks about how liberating those three words make her feel, she smiles engagingly.) Rick:(clearly not amused, tries to reign in his response) Excuse me? Blake:(having had enough) I told you. They are well taken care of, so let it go. I'm trying to eat dinner. Rick: Taken care of? That's not good enough, Blake. You're their mother. You owe them more! Phil: Lighten up, Rick. You're starting to sound obnoxious. Rick shoots Phil a silencing look, and he takes Blake's arm. Rick: Come on, I'm taking you home. Blake: (pulls away) The bloody hell you are. The boys are fine. They are with their *father*. Rick sits back, remembering this is Ross' weekly overnight with the boys. Rick: I am Kevin's father, Blake. Phillip: You are sounding like a broken record. Leave her alone already. The boys are with Ross. Rick:(petulantly) Oh sure, take her side. Phillip:(frowns, wondering if maybe Blake was being straight about Rick's behavior) I'm not taking sides, but you are making an ass of yourself, pal. Rick: What's the deal with you two? Thicker than thieves all of a sudden. (before he can censor his thoughts, he blurts) Looking for a new daddy for your boys, Blake? Phillip:(outraged) That's it! It's time for you to leave! Blake stands up, tired of the chaos and constant battle and on the verge of tears. "Its ok. I'm leaving!" She rushes out the door. Try an forget that -Blake 04/01/97 >> >"Republicans understand the importance of bondage between mother and child." >--Former U.S Vice-President Dan Quayle on Republican Family Values. >> >"Republicans understand the importance of bondage between mother and child." >--Former U.S Vice-President Dan Quayle on Republican Family Values.