>From Here to There Part #19- Now You See It, Now You Don't by -A editor extraordinaire -Emily Several weeks have passed; it's a cool August evening and the eve before the first day of the custody hearing. Ross arrives at the Carriage house expecting to pick up the boys for a few hours. He knocks at the door, but no one answers; the house is shrouded in darkness. He tries his key, not surprised Blake never got around to changing the locks. He walks in; the house feels cold. He almost decides to call Holly, when he notices Blake sitting there on the hearth of the fireplace. Her appearance disturbs him. She is disheveled, her skin is flushed and her eyes are bloodshot. Ross:(concerned) Where's Jason? Not acknowledging his presence, she stays still. He is about to repeat the question when in a raspy voice she replies. "He's at Holly's. She was supposed to call you about a last minute change of plans." As he gets closer, he is aghast at her condition. Her eyes are swollen, and she looks sleep deprived. He can't be sure, but it also looks as though she has lost weight; her skin has an unhealthy cast. He smells the alcohol. Ross: Holly never called. Blake: Well, before you go, why don't you join me? I'm sure you'll enjoy this particular ceremony. (she brushes a lackluster curl out of her eye) He sees she is holding a box of matches. Ross:(remaining aloof) A little warm for a fire, isn't it? Blake:(shivers) I feel quite a chill. Ross: Why are the boys at Holly's? Blake: I needed to be alone for this celebration. She walks to the kitchen and retrieves another glass. He waits until she returns. She fills the clean glass to the brim with champagne and hands it to him, but he refuses. She shrugs and, in one gulp, downs it. Ross: What celebration? She holds up a piece of paper for him to view. Blake:(melancholy mixed with regret) Do you remember the day we signed this? He immediately recognizes their marriage license. Blake:(sipping from her glass of champagne) It was the happiest day of my life. But you know, I knew deep down that it couldn't last. It was a cruel trick; I never deserved to be that happy. (snaps out of her reverie and looks at Ross) What do you think, Ross? Was it worth it? Ross:(trying to reconcile his concern and loathing of her self-pity) You're drunk! Blake:(giggles) Damn straight. (fills her glass again) But, not nearly drunk enough. How do I know that you ask? Because nothing should hurt like this. Ask me at this moment, Ross, if we should have been married. Ross:(she is very close to him, he decides to humor her) Blake... Come on. This is self-destructive. Blake: Self-destruction is what I do best, Ross. It's the only thing I'm good at. But, to answer my own question... if I had known how this would all play out, I wouldn't have done it. I wouldn't have married you. Ross:(stunned) Yes, you would have... because you never could see beyond the moment, that actions have consequences. Blake: Don't you dare lecture me. Not TODAY! (she sits back down on the hearth, attempts to light a match but the first two break. Finally the third match sizzles to life, she looks at him) I wish I had never laid eyes on you, Ross Marler. Ross:(suddenly feeling in over his head, he can see she is in real trouble) What are you doing? Blake:(sets the edge of their marriage license on fire) Like my life, I'm, sending it up in ashes! Maybe I'll sprinkle them on the flower garden. Opps, can't do that; I killed those already. Don't worry though. This (shakes the license as the flames engulf it) has been replaced. (She tosses it into the fireplace and watches it burn. She picks up another piece of paper and with a little difficulty stands up and waves it at him. She stumbles and he catches her. She regains her balance and pushes him away.) Read it out loud! Ross:(feels a stab of guilt as he realizes what set her off) You got the final divorce papers! Ignoring him, she lights another match, and within seconds the divorce papers are engulfed in a searing flame. She burns her hand and drops them. Ross quickly scoops them up and throws them safely into the fireplace, alarmed that she appears totally unconcerned. She merely raises her glass to him. Blake: Oh my hero, you saved me from myself once again. Thanks for nothing! Ross: Get a grip. "There, now it's over. It's like Mr. and Mrs. Ross Marler never existed. No reminders, nothing left, except a big, dark hole. (more to herself than to him) I wish I could just crawl in that hole." Ross:(quietly, needing to reach her) Blake, it can't be erased, and I wouldn't want it to. I sure as hell wished it had turned out differently, but if we had never happened, (forgets himself or a moment) there would not be two little boys who love you and call you Mom. She smiles very sadly and tips back her glass. "Oh yes, my darling, little boys, Jason and Kevin. Give them both a few years, and they will hate me as much as you do." Ross: I don't hate you, Blake. Blake: Yes, you do. It's ok; I hate me too. Ross: You're drunk! Blake: You keep saying that. Funny I feel stone cold sober... (sits back down on the hearth) Or, maybe I just feel stone cold. (she hugs her knees to her chest) Ross:(hating to see the absolute despair in her eyes, tries to bring her out of it) Don't you have a court date tomorrow? Unable to hide the unadulterated fears, she can't find the words any longer. The tears cascade down her cheek, and she nods. Distraught, her body is racked by an uncontrollable sob. Feeling the pain of her tortured heart, he can't take it any longer. He sinks to his knees and holds her tightly until her sobbing subsides. He takes a handkerchief and wipes the tears from her eyes. Ross: Blake, you need to get to bed. Come on, I'll help you. He manages to get her to her feet, but she passes out. He smoothly lifts her into his arms and carries her to the couch. Carefully lying her down, he covers her with her favorite quilt. Then, he dials Holly's number. "I'm sorry, I'm not going to be able to get the boys tonight." "I'm with Blake. She isn't doing very well." "Dammit, Holly! I was worried. Yes, I know why she is a mess. Kevin's hearing is tomorrow, and she got the final divorce papers this afternoon. Talk about lousy timing." "No, I'll stay. She passed out. She'll probably just sleep it off." "Goodnight, Holly. Give the boys a kiss for me." He hangs up the phone and walks over to Blake. He sinks to the floor beside her. "Why, Blake? Why? (tears fill his eyes, and his voice is strained) I have never loved anyone the way I love... loved you! (he brushes the hair from her cheek) I wish to hell someone could explain to me why "love" only heaps misery on those foolish enough to buy into it. Look at you; who believed in the idea of "true love" more than you? I'm sure this isn't exactly your idea of happily ever after. (he touches her cheek again) We deserved better than this; we really did. He gets up and wanders back to the hearth where he picks up a photo album she discarded earlier. Taking a seat in his favorite chair, he starts flipping through it, pleased to find she had captured so many of their special moments. He pauses at the scandal photo that had aided in eventually ruining his political career. His eyes soften as he recalls her words, "These pictures should be on our mantle. These are pictures of me being in love with you." "I wonder what you'd say now." He walks over to her, envying her peaceful oblivion. "Is this ever going to get easier? Will I finally wake up one day and not love you anymore? God knows I've been trying!" Slowly, he walks upstairs in search of a blanket to ward off the chill. As he walks around their... her house, he is thankful that she decided to stay. He couldn't imagine living here in this house without her. The special memories and stolen moments prove too painful to consider. "She's young. She'll get over it and move on like nothing happened." He knows he isn't being fair, admitting to himself for the first time that her hurt runs just as deeply as his. It had been months since their separation, and tonight was indication that she wasn't getting over it at all. Her personal misery only seemed to be escalating, but wasn't her misery deserved? ********************************* >> >"Republicans understand the importance of bondage between mother and child." >--Former U.S Vice-President Dan Quayle on Republican Family Values. >> >"Republicans understand the importance of bondage between mother and child." >--Former U.S Vice-President Dan Quayle on Republican Family Values.