Subject: RotSoap: A Night At The Springfield Country Club >A Night At The Springfield Country Club >by Laura Laura :-) >(This RotSoap is dedicated to the many GL viewers who are sick and tired of fist fights and cat fights.) > > >Scene 1 > >Springfield is lit up with a million lights tonight. The moon is full and the air is electric. The New Year is to be heralded in with frenetic festivity. The Country Club is filled with its own unique brand of excitement. Vanessa has enlisted the catering services of Eleni for a small New Year=92s Eve party. Other patrons are scattered around the room, divided into their perspective camps. > >Buzz and Alex are enjoying the happiness of their children. Lucy, Alan-Michael, Nick, and Susan are enjoying their new love. Ed=92s party, which consists of Rick, Abigail, Michelle, and Lillian, has joined his nephew. It is one of the few tables devoid of tension. =20 > >Josh, Annie, Vanessa, Matt, Henry, Nola, Bridget, and Bill make up a table near the catered buffet. Josh and Annie are still simmering over an argument about Reva. Vanessa is beginning to suspect that her husband knows Amanda Spaulding better than he has let on. In addition, both Vanessa and Bridget feel Roger=92s threats more sharply since Hart has revealed his intentions to pursue custody of Peter. Bridget is confused over her feelings for her son=92s father and Nola remains in the snit she has= indulged in since she rejoined Springfield life. Conversation is stilted and short. The strain at this table is heightened by the proximity of the inhabitants at the two adjoining tables.=20 > >On one side, Roger, Dinah, and Hart have made a rare display of familial unity. Roger has intentionally chosen the table to increase the discomfort of Vanessa and Bridget. He smiles smugly, knowing he has succeeded beyond his hopes. However, he has also begun to detect an unusual degree of friction between his young wife and son. Dinah fidgets, longing for a cigarette while Hart continues to needle her subtly in words, deeds, and= looks. > >On the other side, Reva, Alan, Amanda, and Hawk are living it up Reva style. Champagne and conversation flow freely. However, what little tact Reva has, disappears with the effervescence. Her wicked wit finds a delicious target in Alan. He is not amused. > >Holly, Fletch, Blake, Ross, and Ben are enjoying themselves. Except for the occasional intrusion on their party by Hawk=92s raucous laughter and Amanda=92s predatory glances, they are managing to enjoy the last evening of the year. > >The last table is occupied by the Grants. Charles also invited Griffin Williams and his son to join them, knowing how much Vivian admires the civil rights activist. To his dismay, his wife is cold and sharp with their guest. Charles is upset and confused by Vivian=92s reaction but at least Griffin appears to accept Vivian=92s animosity with amusement rather than anger. Gilly and David try to maintain a polite flow of conversation, but fail miserably. Marcus sulks. > >Emotions seethe beneath the surface, awaiting an outlet for release. The scene is set. > >At Alan=92s table, Reva=92s taunts become louder and more cutting. Alan, loosing his patience, suggests the party take their leave. > >=93Before we ring in the new year?=94 Reva questions. =93Not me. I want= to celebrate what=92s left of this sorry excuse of a year. Why don=92t you go= make kissy-kissy with your son.=94 She pauses as she notices the anger flare in Alan=92s eyes. Gleefully, she adds, =93Oh, I am sorry. I forgot. You=92r= e on your son=92s drop dead list. You certainly aren=92t going to get the parent= of the year vote. Let=92s see....One son who won=92t talk to you. Another= son who escaped to the wilds of the desert to get away from you. And a daughter who looks....well, like her profession isn=92t discussed in the finer= circles.=94 > >Amanda stands up ready to do physical harm to this blond boozer. Reva smiles slyly. She=92s been waiting for someone to take the first swing. = But Amanda is stopped by her father. =93Reva stop playing the bitch before you say something you=92ll regret. Now, let=92s get out of here.=94 > >Reva is about to argue when she sees Buzz observing the scene from Alan-Michael=92s table. =93Ok, let=92s go,=94 then adds playfully, =93but= I=92d like to say good-bye to Buzz on the way out.=94 > >Alan starts to argue and then realizes it=92s useless. They make their= way to Buzz=92s table, but Amanda takes a detour over to Ross. > >=93Happy, New Year, son,=94 Alan begins stiffly. > >=93Do you hear an annoying buzz, Buzz?=94 Alan-Michael asks, ignoring his father. Buzz grins. Lucy grasps her knife tightly trying to control the almost overwhelming hatred she has for this man. > >=93Alan-Michael.....=94 Alan attempts again. > >=93There it is again.=94 Alan-Michael continues. =93I think the Country= Club needs to make an appointment with the exterminator.=94 > >=93Alan-Michael...=94 > >=93You heard your son, Spaulding. Fly away and bug someone else.=94 Buzz interrupts. > >=93You stay out of this Cooper. This is between me and my son.=94 > >=93You seem to remember that only when it=92s convenient for you.=94 Buzz= retorts. > >=93I swear, if you come between me and my son.....=94 > >Lucy, her cheeks reddened with anger, interrupts Alan. =93You really have nerve coming over here and threatening my father. First, you use the man who raped me to betray your own son. Then, you help Brent try to escape to cover your own worthless ass. And then, you hire slick Sid to get you off at any cost. When you find out that, in gaining your freedom you=92ve= lost your family, you run away and pout. You=92re a childish petty coward, Mr. Spaulding. The Menendez brothers could learn a lot from you. So go away and take your insincere apology with you. You=92re not wanted!=94 Lucy=92s= rant has other patrons of the restaurant turning their heads in curiosity. Her own dinner companions stare at her in amazement. > >Ignoring her indictment and the interested onlookers, Alan continues. =93Listen son. All I wanted was to wish you.....=94 =20 > >Exasperated by his high-handed attitude, Lucy interrupts again with menacing calm. =93It seems there=92s only one way to stop your= blathering.....=94 Rising from her seat, she very methodically picks up a handful of her potatoes au gratin and shoves them in Alan=92s arrogant face.=20 > >=93God, that felt good,=94 she sighs, smiles, and slumps back into her= seat. =20 > >For a few seconds, all at the table are shocked into silence. Finally, Buzz lets out a loud guffaw. Reva, realizes her chance has arrived. She appropriates Alan-Michael=92s plate and dumps the entire contents on Buzz=92= s head. Alan who looked ready to murder Lucy, now sees his chance to laugh. But his laugh is quickly silenced by his son, who deftly takes the remaining bottle of wine and empties the contents over his father. Buzz begins an attack on Reva who enlists the aid of Alan and Hawk. Rick busily tries to sign to Abigail that the shenanigans are only a game. =20 > >=93Do you understand?=94 He signs and asks. > >She nods, smiles, and picks up a handful of peas, flinging them into Rick= =92s astonished face. Michelle laughs and points. For her interference, Rick dumps the remains of his lasagna on her newly styled hair. Ed tries to stop the madness, but is rewarded by Michelle=92s chocolate cake being stuffed in his left ear. Alex and Lillian look speculatively at each other and then take a handful each of their poached salmon and hit Hawk squarely in the chest of his newly purchased tuxedo. Lucy and Susan stare mischievously across the table at Alan-Michael and Nick. Before they have a chance to react, Lucy and Susan succeed in covering them with the remains of their potatoes. All hell breaks loose at the table. The game is afoot. > >Meanwhile, Roger, Hart, and Dinah decide to leave about the same time Alan=92s party make their move toward the door. As usual, Roger cannot= resist stopping at his enemies=92 table to gloat. =93My son and I will be by to= visit Peter tomorrow, Vanessa.=94=20 > >=93Hart is welcome.=94 Vanessa replies. =93You, however, are welcome= nowhere.=94 > >=93We=92ll both be there, Vanessa. So get used to it.=94 > >=93Poor Roger. Your son is only going along with you because he needs the money for the lawsuit. Right Hart? After the suit is over, you=92ll be out in the cold whoever wins. You=92ll never see your grandson again.=94 = Vanessa ends with a condescending smile. > >=93Roger, let=92s just go.=94 Hart urges seeing his father=92s cold fury= and trying to avoid the inevitable confrontation. > >=93God, you=92ve become such a pathetic coward Hart.=94 Bridget= interrupts, disgusted by the attitude of this new, changed Hart. =93I never thought I= =92d see you sucking up to your old man for a few bucks.=94 > >Bridget=92s words have stung deep. =93Those few bucks are gonna get my son back. The son you didn=92t even have the backbone to tell me about. So= who=92s really the coward here, Bridget?=94 He shoots back bitterly. =93Cherish the time you spend with the little tike now. It won=92t last.=94 > >Dinah, bored with the obsessive Peter conversation, yawns. =93Let=92s go,= Roger.=94 > >Roger ignores her and turns back to Vanessa. =93Yes, enjoy your time with Peter, Vanessa. No court on earth is going to let you and your........child husband keep him. Too many skeletons in his closet.=94 > >Matt looks at Roger warily but Vanessa is past fencing words. =93Roger, I= am sick of you and your threats and innuendoes. And I am sick and tired of mincing words with you. The only thing you understand is action.=94 Out of the corner of her eye she sees Lucy plaster Alan with her potatoes. Cryptically she smiles, =93Well if it=92s good enough for Alan, it should be good enough for you,=94 and picking up her consomm=E9, she splatters it= over his face. > >Bridget smiles mischievously and follows Vanessa=92s example by hurling= the remains of her spinach on Hart=92s one and only suit. Dinah laughs, her boredom lifting. Hart responds by dumping the contents of the nearest soup bowl over her lovely head. Bill comes to his sister=92s defense by chucking his rice pilaf at Hart. Hart ducks and the rice lands on Nola=92s new spandex dress. Henry laughs at the spectacle and Nola rewards him by smothering his head with chocolate mousse, but not before she repays Bill in kind. Bridget and Vanessa share a brief high five, before Roger and Hart retaliate with vinegar and oil. Matt joins forces with Bridget and Vanessa to annihilate the Thorpe contingent. Josh and Annie try to stop the skirmish but are subjected to a full barrage from the rest of the party. The fight is in full swing. > >Meanwhile, at the Grant table, the conversation has taken an ugly turn. David has just complimented Griffin on all the people he=92s helped over the years, through his hard work. =93So many people must be grateful to you= for being there when they needed you.=94 David finishes. > >=93What about your family and friends?=94 Vivian asks abruptly. =93Were= you there for them as well?=94 Marcus=92s ears perk up at this new direction in= the conversation and looks speculatively at his estranged father. > >=93Yeah, Dad. Were you there for family and friends or just for the= brothers at large?=94 > >=93I did what I could for my family. Public life always puts a strain on personal relationships.=94 Griffin answers smoothly. > >=93I see your diplomatic skills still serve you well.=94 Vivian scoffs. = =93I wonder if family and friends would answer so glibly.=94 > >Charles begins tentatively, =93Viv.....=94 > >=93No, she=92s right Charles.=94 Griffin admits. =93It is hard on one=92s= family and friends to be in such demand. I=92ve tried to balance my public and private life. But there are so many out there who need me.....=94 > >Vivian, exasperated by his conceit, drops her country club facade. =93Do= es your vanity know no bounds? Mr. High and Mighty Griffin Williams deigns us with his presence. Let us be grateful for the crumbs he throws at our feet. Tell me, can you spare the time to stay around for your son=92s trial? Or does the adulation of the masses call?=94 > >Charles, Marcus, Gilly, and David all stare at her; shocked at her outburst. But she has only begun. =93Let=92s make sure your visit with us= is unforgettable. We wouldn=92t want to waste your valuable time.=94 And with that, Vivian grabs a handful of her fetuccini and hurls it at his shocked face. =20 > >=93Viv!=94 Charles exclaims. > >=93Oh, shut up Charles.=94 she replies and tosses the remaining noodles at= her outraged husband. =20 > >Gilly becomes aware of the fracas surrounding them. The patrons have gone crazy. She gets up immediately to make a phone call. Marcus grabs her arm to prevent her from leaving. =93And where are you escaping to?=94 he asks. > >=93I=92m not escaping, I=92m going to make a call to the station. Look at= this place! This is a story!=94=20 > >=93Sorry, I can=92t let you do that.=94 With that, Marcus calmly dumps his= salad over her head. David defends his sister by smothering Marcus with his lemon meringue pie. Gilly adds roast beef au jus to the mix. Griffin hurls the remains of his apple pie ala mode at Viv. Charles defends his wife with his vegetables jubilee. The fight spreads to all at the Grant table. > >Ben, bored with Amanda=92s not so subtle attempts to attract Ross=92s attention, surveys the free-for-all brewing at the other tables. Mischievously, he arms his spoon with apple sauce and takes deadly aim at Amanda=92s all too obvious cleavage. He yells =93food fight=94 and fires. Hitting his mark , he watches it slither down into tempting territory. Blake laughs hysterically. Amanda shows her claws and pours the tureen of brown gravy over the lovely red-head. Blake responds by covering the rest of Amanda in Ben=92s apple sauce. Fletch begins to castigate his son, when Holly interrupts him with a =93Lighten up, Fletch,=94 and proceeds to pour= her low-cal salad dressing over his outraged face. Ben allies himself with Holly and proceeds to fling the remains of his meal at his father. Ross attempts to insinuate himself between his wife and Amanda and ends up the target of both. Soon Ross and Fletch are outnumbered and outflanked by their alleged loved ones. Bravely, Ross gasps, =93Remember the Alamo,=94= as they are pummeled to the floor by fanatical food flingers from all sides. > >The fights at the tables rage on. But as food becomes scarce, the combatants begin to forage for more. Almost simultaneously, the parties discover the buffet table. The patrons make a bee line for the buffet to rearm themselves with fresh ammunition. Eleni and Frank, with the aid of Robert, the maitre=92d, try to prevent the ensuing melee and are treated to= a sound dousing in Green Goddess. The battle now spreads among tables as the dining room becomes the scene of the Country Club=92s first food fight. > >Scene 2 > >Our noble warriors litter the battlefield in happy exhaustion; their bodies covered in more food than clothing. There is only one malcontent. Robert tries to achieve some semblance of dignity as he surveys, what was once his pride and joy. Turning a disapproving, outraged face to the suitably abashed party-goers, he asks, =93Who, may I ask, is going to pay= for this debacle?=94 > >Alan-Michael rises sheepishly from the floor, slipping on the remains of the chocolate mousse. =93Since...uh....since our party instigated it, I=92l= l be happy to pay for the damages Robert.=94 > >=93Oh, we=92ll be happy to pick up some of the clean-up charges too.=94 = Vanessa adds feeling more relaxed than she has in weeks. > >=93Well,=94 Robert replies in a huff. =93We=92ll have to take this up= with the membership committee. I don=92t know if we=92ll ever get this place back in order.=94 And without further comment he leaves taking his injured dignity with him. The laughter from the dining room echoes behind him. > >At that moment, the clock strikes twelve. Balloons and confetti are released from above and =93Auld Lang Syne=94 floats across the room. The= lovers in the room merge together to greet the New Year. Buzz takes advantage of the fact that Reva is propped up next to him and steals a kiss, much to Alan=92s chagrin. Amanda tries the same maneuver on Ross. However, Ross thwarts her attempt by setting her firmly away from him and planting a passionate kiss on his lovely, bedraggled wife. Hart, also takes advantage of Dinah=92s somewhat bemused and contented state. He offers her a friendly hand to help her to her feet. As soon as she=92s standing, he grabs her= arms and firmly pulls her close. Dipping his head he gently sucks the whipped cream off the tip of her nose, hesitates, and then slowly covers her lips with his own. The moments tick by.....he finally lifts his head. Dinah stares at him dazedly for a moment. Then anger flares in her eyes and she hauls back and punches him in his left eye (sorry I couldn=92t resist just= one punch). > >=93Damn, you don=92t pull your punches do you?=94 Hart winces, putting a= hand over his stinging eye. =93I=92m gonna have a black eye for a week.=94 > >=93My heart bleeds. It wasn=92t exactly easy on my hand either.=94 Dinah responds unsympathetically, flexing her sore hand. > >=93Then next time, don=92t feel compelled to use it on my account.=94 > >Ignoring his reference to a next time, Dinah states matter-of-factly, =93Th= at was for Roger=92s benefit, wasn=92t it?=94 =20 > >Hart=92s gaze wanders over to his irate father, then back to her. =93Make= no mistake. That kiss was solely for my benefit. Never doubt it. Roger was just an added bonus. Happy New Year, my sweet step-mama,=94 he pauses to lick his lips and smile. =93This year is already turning out to be better than the last.=94 With that provocative statement, he exits the dining= room. The other occupants are also beginning to take their leave. Dinah moves to Roger=92s side, still shaken by the events of the evening.=20 > >=93What the hell was that all about?=94 Roger demands. > >=93Roger, don=92t go beating your chest and sharpening your arrows. I= don=92t know what that was about and, right now, I don=92t care. Let=92s just go= home.=94 Head held high, she makes her way to the door, leaving Roger no option but to follow...... > > >The End >